Fear of sexual intercourse? Solutions to deal with sex phobia

Can’t find the time to have sex? Are you looking for excuses because you are tired or tired? Do you force yourself so as not to make your partner feel bad? Do you have too many things in your head and you do not concentrate? Is your sex not as wonderful as the media shows you? Do you think sex is not for you? Has it been happening to you for a long time and this makes you feel bad? You don’t explain it, but it’s there. You may avoid thinking or you may turn it over in your head and feel ashamed of what happens to you.

Perhaps you suffer from Erotophobia or sex phobia. In our sexologist clinic in Delhi we can help you.

In other times, sex was a sin except in marriage or to have children, and the feeling of guilt affected sexual relations. Today we take for granted that sex is always natural and fun, yet it is often a cause for anxiety and worry. Paradoxically, when sex has become paradise, the obligation to have great sex is also a source of fear, blockages and, in some cases, phobia.

The clearest cases that determine some type of sex phobia

1. Sex scares you. It has nothing to do with your partner, it may be that you have it and that you are very much in love. The fear of sex has nothing to do with the sexual partner, but with the fact of having intimate relationships.
2. You feel uncomfortable, intimidated or bored with any type of physical contact: hugs, caresses. You may even feel disgusted by a certain type of contact and you can not stop thinking that it is dirty or dangerous for your health.
3. The preliminaries bore you and you feel rejection when thinking about starting the relationship. It’s like an obligation and you feel bad for not fulfilling it.
4. You avoid relationships. You have stopped having intimate relationships with your partner.
5. If you do not have a partner, you have already begun to avoid any type of romantic relationship.

When this has happened to you for a long time, you may be building a phobia of sex or erotophobia.

What is Erotophobia?

Erotophobia is the term we use to refer to any phobia related to sex. Often those who suffer from it suffer from more than one specific fear and in each case there is a great variety of symptoms and severity. Each person experiences it differently, just like sex. It has nothing to do with the affection you feel towards your long-time partner or the attraction to someone you just met. It is simply fear of being sexual with another person. You are not asexual, you need intimacy, but sexual intercourse is a problem for you.

The 5 most common cases of fear

There are different reasons why we fear and avoid sex, and we end up building this specific phobia.

1. Fear to fail. Intrusive thoughts appear derived from the fear of not reaching an orgasm or erection, or of losing it. You enter a state of concern that leads to the mechanism of not finding or losing what you are looking for or do not want to lose, it is the paradox of the more I look for it, the less I find it.
2. Fear of not being up to the task, of disappointing the partner. There are many expectations regarding the sexual relationship, how the relationship should be, how we should behave. We may be afraid to communicate our wants or needs to our partner. Our past history, level of self-demand or deep desires may be influencing the perception of failure in the sexual relationship and causing us to avoid it.
3. Fear of the pain of penetration or of being damaged in a sensitive part. Also fear of hurting the partner.
4. Fear of showing any part of one’s own body.
5. Fear of losing control of oneself or of one’s own bodily functions, of making a fool of oneself due to lack of experience, of suffering from previous relationships that did not go well. Paradoxically, when I want to feel something spontaneous, I can’t. The excess of control makes us fall into lack of control or blockage of the desired thing.

The different types of phobias that we can suffer

Perhaps you recognize your problem in one of these phobias.

• Coitophobia or genophobia: fear of penetration and specifically of the sexual act. There is no problem with the preliminaries and the intimacy is enjoyed, but the person is blocked at the idea of going further physically.
• Chiraptofobia: Fear of being touched in a generalized way, or in a specific part of the body, frequently in one of the erotic zones, which are by definition very sensitive to touch.
• Gymnophobia: Fear of nudity, being naked, or seeing others naked. The person feels shame because he perceives her body in a negative way, or simply that nudity is something negative.
• Philematophobia: Fear of kissing or being kissed. It is often related to physical concerns such as germs or bad breath.
• Spermatophobia: Fear of semen, both seeing it and touching it.
• Phallophobia and colpophobia: Fear of parts of the body related to sexuality, commonly the penis or female genitalia. They can occur in both men and women.
• Paraphobia: Fear of being a pervert or the perversion of the other, that the sexual relationship itself is a perverse thing. The person can have traditional type of sexual relations, but the doubt haunts him and he can end up avoiding relations altogether, immersed in a sea of doubts.
• Dyspareunia and Vaginismus. The fear of penetration provokes the attempt at control that tenses the muscles generating more pain. Paradoxically, the attempt to relax causes more tension.
• Medolmacuphobia: Frequently the person loses his erection in his attempt to maintain it or because of the fear of losing it.
• Fear of intimacy: There is no fear of the sexual act itself, but of the intimacy that it entails. The person can have intercourse, but is blocked by what feels like an invasion of his body and his control over himself in the intimate relationship, and ends up avoiding the relationship, thus building an invalidating phobia.
• Fear of vulnerability: Like the previous one, it is linked to the feeling of vulnerability and lack of control of the sexual relationship. The person is afraid of being vulnerable or suffering if they don’t like it enough or don’t do it well enough. It can also affect non-sexual relationships.

The fear of intimacy and the fear of vulnerability can end up causing a Disorder due to lack of desire or the blockage of sensations that lead to orgasm or Anorgasmia.

Tips to help you deal with sex phobia

Does it have a solution?

Yes, but the complexity of its symptoms requires the help of a specialized sexologist in Delhi. Expectations about sex today are the cause of insecurities and doubts, and fears related to sex are more common than you think.

It is important that you do not feel ashamed before the best sexologist in Delhi and that from the first contact you can explain what is happening to you. It’s not easy but the reward is worth the effort.

From strategic brief therapy top sexologist in Delhi works with you to find out exactly how your problem is working and how you are trying to solve it. We will build a custom solution by applying tricks that follow non-ordinary logic to unlock the attempted solutions that make your problem worse.

For example, if the problem is more of a phobic type and you avoid more, we establish the protocol for cases of phobia, with techniques such as the worst fantasy, the boundary map or the beautiful statues. Sexologist in Delhi leads you to face yourself within the limits that you can reach at all times, that is, we seek to put out the fire by adding wood.

If the obsessive component predominates, such as blocking the performance or the fear of losing control, we will also use specific techniques so that you stop making an effort to force the spontaneous, such as prohibition, declaration of incapacity or mourning. Basically, we ask you to make an effort not to feel, that is, to cross the sea without the sky knowing it and to win without fighting.

So now you know, there are infinite ways to experience sex. We need it, it provides us with well-being and we deserve it, however, we enjoy it.